#22 | Beatz Against Time (1)

(No-one said this wasn’t going to be an eclectic journey)

I use music to claw back against the inevitability of time. And there are few places more conducive to time travel then between a pulsating pair of headphones.

Here’s one I made earlier (I don’t do kids birthdays)

Have a fabulous weekend.

Advertisements

#21 | Borrowed Wisdom #3

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal) he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).”

Hunter S Thompson

#20 | The Pain Of Starting

(https://goo.gl/maps/dmckrKfcQMT2)

It’s ten past four on the afternoon of the first of February.
The coffee machine is out of order.
People are grumpy, vulnerable.
And scared. Very scared.
The clinic, as usual, is running late.
Up to 80 minutes.
But it’s ok, ok, ok, ok because, we may be seen earlier.
If possible.
And besides; somebody somewhere is deeply sorry for the inconvenience.

This is a special place.
A curious, spectacular train crash of everything that makes us so tormentedly human.
Tricked out to look like something different.
But no-one here is fooled.
Impossible chords of bravery, courage, sadness and hope chime between its walls.
And charge the air between the people that blink here.
Some of whom used to walk in.
Now they roll out.
And stare ahead.
Trying to remember where they placed the breadcrumbs.
Back to that ‘other thing’ they used to wake up to.

I’m lonely.
Every 6 or so weeks I come to this place.
Alone.
My choice.
But alone, nonetheless.
It’s a unique place in which I am able to be a unique version of me.
Stripped bare of ego.
Grumpy, sometimes.
Vulnerable, scared, always.
But uniquely, me.
My parallel universe.
Where the loneliness hurts but is necessary and welcome.
A bridge.
From that guy to this one.
Lucid, wide open, honest, transparent.
And sorry.
For not being a better this, that and the other.
For not having the courage to be more of this me, out there.
But that’s the goal, isn’t it?

I’m trying.

We all long for beautiful, brilliant lives.
But beautiful, brilliant lives do not just happen.
They are built daily.
With courage.
Humility.
Sacrifice.
And love.
(May that beautiful life be yours always.)
Love for others.
Love for ourselves.
Our ideas.
Plans.
The things we believe in.

They say graveyards are the richest places on the planet.
Ideas worth trillions, buried with souls on new journeys.
Gone but for the grace of provenance.
Maybe those people didn’t love themselves enough.
Or their ideas.
Plans.
The things they believed in.
Or perhaps they were just scared.
Overwhelmed.
Couldn’t find where or how to start.

To start.
To truly start, it would seem, is the hardest peak to climb.
Because to truly start is to commit to a beautiful, brilliant life.
All bridges burned.
Courage
Humility.
Sacrifice.
And love.
For others.
Ourselves.
Our ideas.
Plans.
The things we believe in.
I’ve tried to start.
So many times.
And yet I find myself nowhere nearer to where I want to be.
Cycling in and out of hopeful elevators.
Or am I?

Has all this toiling in turbulence brought me to the very place to which I once pointed at on the map?
Is one man’s turbulence, another man’s clarity?
Another man’s Calm?
And were the bridges burned on my behalf?

Scored by Nils Frahm, they’ll come to get me soon.
Maybe it’s finally time to start.
To commit to that beautiful, brilliant life.
Or what’s left of it.
Humility.
Sacrifice.
And Love
For myself.
My ideas.
Plans.
The thing that I believe in.
Which, as some may know.
Is Others.
Their plans.
And the things that they believe in.

The pain in soil covered ideas far outweighs the pain of starting.

Please start. Just. Start.

Strange. Or Not.
Between the walls of such a place.
Defined by ambiguity.
Supervised by hope.
That I should find a place to start.

(ends)

#17 | Taking Beef With Beliefs. Pt 1.

Cue eye roll…

Yeah, it’s amazing how many people have created such a negative, Chinese fortune-cookie-fluff association, whenever it comes to addressing beliefs. And yet, without exception, every single one of my clients has THE most significant breakthrough whenever we get into what they really believe, and how those beliefs are contributing to their life-turbulence.

Negative beliefs suck

What makes them worse, is that they are often formed by stealth; at a very young age and in a way that sparks a self-perpetuating cycle of cause and effect, that buries them so deep into our identity that they can be very, very hard to change.

And yet they aren’t real. They are, in many ways, the cruellest trick that nature plays on us.

Here’s why

Our brains are set up to signal, and make decisions, to avoid pain and seek pleasure. When we’re young, filterless and at our most vulnerable, the events of life that play out around us, and the things we see, feel and hear can trick us into making false associations between the two. And these are what can quickly and tragically become the foundations of limiting beliefs.  Regardless of how absurd, misinterpreted and unintentional.

Example:

Some people didn’t show up for a birthday party when you were 7 (they just got the day wrong, nothing personal).

At the time, it hurt. Terribly. End of the world type pain.

Maybe I am not likeable?” whirrs the mind. “That’s painful, we don’t want that. So we’ll start looking out for evidence to support it, and make decisions that avoid it entirely“.

And so on…

If we consider that foundational point of making an association as the trunk of a tree, what happens next is where the real problems start.

To keep you from the pain  – and so on the side of pleasure – the brain quickly wires itself up to look for ways to avoid it.  Its intention is kind and honourable, but sadly every time it does notice something, it layers the fledgeling belief with ‘supporting reference’ and starts growing roots. The more references we seek, the deeper the roots and the sharper the minds ability to notice and protect. So the cycle continues…

Beliefs = Values = Filters = Behaviour

It’s an irrefutable fact that identifying limiting beliefs, and learning how to change them is the single most self-empowering process we can go through. It’s particularly poignant to me at the moment,  not only as someone who is invested in helping people positively change but at the age of 6, my daughter is entering into her peak belief forming years (yup, it’s that young).

I’d be doing her a terrible injustice if I didn’t do my best to help her onboard some of the more empowering beliefs I wish I had taken on as a child. And that doesn’t mean overly controlling her worldview, it simply means providing a gentle layer of influence when I can on subjects such as self-worth,  money and wealth, confidence, ambition etc. whilst taking the time to interrupt and scramble any limiting tree trunks that might be forming in her delicate little head, whenever something seems to trouble her.

You might think being teased for bad breath at the age of 6, is harmless playground banter. But to a 6-year-old it can trigger something much deeper, long-term and harmful.

Yup, I take massive beef with beliefs. I was guilty of eye-rolling at them myself for years until I was forced into examining my own hardwiring. Only to be horrified at what I discovered. But as a wise man once said: “Clarity precedes, well, everything!

So this series of posts are designed to spark a Belief Revolution. I’ll be sharing best practices and my own thoughts, experiences and experiments on how to:

  1. Identify limiting beliefs
  2. Unroot them and replace with empowering ones
  3. Rewire and establish new beliefs as your defaults

It’s not an easy process. But stay committed, and it could transform your life. And no, you’re not too old!

I’d also love to hear in the comments box below, anyone else’s thoughts and information they have on the subject of changing beliefs. It’s a topic I am devoting the lion’s share of my time to this year, so all contribution will be very gratefully received.

Finally, if you are struggling with limiting beliefs and would like some one-on-one support then please send me an email to christianhburne@gmail.com. I’d be delighted to help.

#16 | Dear Self…

…it’s the end of Jan. What you playing at? Not much? Too much? Not enough?
Shut TFU, take an audit, and reflect:
1. Working smart is much more of a force multiplier than just working hard and being busy. You’re not kidding anyone.
2. Are you finding 30 minutes to be still and silent every day?
3. Are you exercising for 20 minutes first thing in the morning? If not, put the phone down and get on it.
4. Once you decide to do something, anything, go all in. Don’t be the kitten with a ball of wool.
5. Procrastination is an escape mechanism for people scared to do their best work. Man up!
6. Give people x25 of the time and value they expect. You know what happens next…
7. Don’t do it if you’re not having fun. Period. There’s too much resentment in the world as it is.
8. If you’re not scared daily, you’re not growing. Again, man up and jump.
9. Be the most generous, optimistic and kind person in every room you’re in.
10. Your phone is costing you your fortune. Put. It. Down.
11. When you think no-one else believes in your vision, that’s when you absolutely must stay true to that vision. Have the guts to stay in the game far longer than it makes any sense. One day…
And so to Feb.